Muscle Beach Party (1964)

MUSCLE BEACH PARTY  (1964)  ¢ ¢
    D: William Asher
    Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, Luciana Paluzzi,
    Buddy Hackett, Don Rickles, Jody McCrea,
    Dick Dale, Peter Lorre, Morey Amsterdam,
    Peter Lupus, Stevie Wonder, Candy Johnson
Body builders crash the surfers' beach. Frankie falls for a countess played by Luciana Paluzzi. Annette gets jealous. Dick Dale sings a tune, but maybe he'd be better off just playing the guitar. Candy Johnson boogies like a wind-up doll on speed. Her hair never moves. The countess offers Frankie a recording contract and a cushy life on her yacht. That sounds good to Frankie. Candy Johnson gyrates some more. Her hair still hasn't moved. The other surfers turn on Frankie for being such a dick. Buddy Hackett explains to Frankie what life with the countess would really be like, and Frankie decides he'd rather be on the beach with Annette. Little Stevie Wonder appears out of nowhere to do a song, and did you see any other black people in this movie? Me, neither. Peter Lorre phones in a cameo as the world's strongest man. Candy Johnson shakes and wiggles some more. Her hair remains in place. In the end, everybody lives happily ever after, or at least until the next "Beach Party" movie, when, let me guess, Frankie will fall for some sexy new babe, and Annette will get jealous, and somebody will yell, "Surf's up!", and the guys with their boards will hit the water, and Candy Johnson will dance like a coked-up monkey, and, well, you know the drill.