The Covie Awards are as bogus as climate change is real. They were created during the pandemic to recognize cinematic achievement in an ever-shifting variety of categories. If there were actual awards to hand out, and anybody cared who they got handed out to, the Movie Buzzard would recognize the following:
Picture: "Eddington" (2025)
Actress: Fernanda Torres in "I'm Still Here" (2024)
Actor: Jesse Plemmons in "Begonia" (2025)
Supporting Actress: Shirley Henderson in "I Really Hate My Job" (2007)
Supporting Actor: Bob Burrus in "Tully" (2003)
Cameo: Hugh Grant in "Glass Onion" (2022)
Ensemble: "Paris" (2008)
Couple: Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart in "American Ultra" (2015)
Juvenile Performance: Giulia Salerno in "Misunderstood" (2014)
Revival: "Dogma" (1999)
Foreign Language Film: "Nouvelle Vague" (2025)
Documentary: "The American Revolution" (2025)
Short Film: "Return To Glennascaul" (1952)
Director: Ryan Coogler, "Sinners" (2025)
Cinematography: David Chambille, "Nouvelle Vague" (2025)
Musical Score: Mica Levy, "The Zone of Interest" (2024)
Production Design: "Frankenstein" (2025)
Best Villain: Juliette Lewis in "The Thicket" (2024)
Best Mad Scene: Sally Hawkins in "Bring Her Back" (2025)
Better With Age: Jenny Agutter in "Sometimes Always Never" (2018)
Final Bow: Jane Birkin in "Jane By Charlotte" (2021)
Title Sequence: "American Ultra" (2015)
Poster Art: "The Astounding She-Monster" (1957)
Sound: "Overlord" (1975)
Why Closeups Were Invented: Tilda Swinton in "The Room Next Door" (2024)
Best Performance By an Actress Playing Herself: Robin Wright in "The Congress" (2013)
Best Performance By an Actress With a Shaved Head: Emma Stone in "Bugonia" (2025)
Best Charlton Heston Performance By an Actor Who's Not Charlton Heston: Barry Sullivan in "Planet of the Vampires" (1965)
Chewing the Scenery: Charles Laughton in "Devil and the Deep" (1932)
Maynard G. Krebs Award For Beatnik Slang: The cats at the club in "The Love Statue" (1965)
Most Eye-Catching Nude Scene: Julianne Nicholson in "Flannel Pajamas" (2006)
Most Discreet Nude Scene: Claudette Colbert in "Four Frightened People" (1934)
Least Inhibited Nude Couple: Raquel Karro and Rodrigo Bolzan in "Pendular" (2017)
How To Stuff a Wild Bikini: "Raquel Welch in "Fathom" (1967)
Most Evil Juvenile Performance: Earl Rhodes in "The Sailor Who Fell From Grace From the Sea" (1976)
American Tobacco Institute Award For Achievement In Smoking: Adrien Brody in "The Brutalist"(2024)
Speed Racing: "Grand Prix" (1966)
Gender Bent: "Jacky In the Kingdom of Women" (2014)
Dead Birds and Time Loops: "Triangle" (2009)
Stuck: Zeb Haradon and Robin Ballard in "Elevator Movie" (2004)
Missing a Few Teeth: Chris Cooper in "Adaptation" (2002)
Lying Down On the Job: Sandra Bernhard in "The Third Date" (2003)
Over the Top and Around the Bend: Amy Madigan in "Weapons" (2025)
Still Crazy After All These Years: Bill Lee in "Spaceman" (2006)
Best Movie To Watch Stoned (Maybe): "Else" (2024)
Hundreds of Pies: "The Battle of the Century" (1927)
There Goes Chicago: "A House of Dynamite" (2025)
All Thumbs: Uma Thurman in "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" (1993)
Best Pole-Dancing: Olivia Graves in "Hundreds of Beavers" (2022)
Wickedest Lipstick: Jessica Chastain in "Salomé" (2013)
Best Name For an Actress In a Low-Budget Nudie Flick: Tiffany Tickles in "I Was a Teenage Strangler" (1997)
Weirdest Nicolas Cage Movie: "Color Out of Space" (2019)
Mind the Age Gap: Joan Crawford and Ty Hardin in "Berserk" (1967)
Shoot the Dog: "What Just Happened" (2008)
Herman Scobie Award For Career Achievement:
John Waters
