Americano (2011)

AMERICANO  (2011)  ¢ ¢
    D: Mathieu Demy
    Mathieu Demy, Salma Hayek, Geraldine Chaplin,
    Chiara Mastroianni, Carlos Bardem, André Wilms
This movie starts out gloomy and gets more gloomy as it goes. At first there's just a black screen and the sound of fucking. Then you see the two people doing the fucking, and they don't look like they're enjoying themselves at all. They just look sad. Then you see the same two people in bed together, sleeping, and they don't look any happier than they did before, but at least they're asleep now, so you hope for the best. Then the phone rings and the guy gets up and answers it and learns that his mother has died. Somebody's just punched his ticket to hell, by way of Paris, L.A. and Tijuana. It doesn't matter, really. You can tell he's not going to have a good time, no matter where he goes. And as long as you're watching "Americano", neither will you. Well, okay, you do get to watch Salma Hayek strip down to a fishnet bodysuit in a sleazy Tijuana bar. It's arguably the high point of the film. And even that's depressing.