In a normal year around this time, there'd be a post announcing the winners of the coveted Scobie Awards, honoring movies released in the year that just ended. Due to the pandemic and all, that's not going to happen this year. Instead, the Movie Buzzard is pleased to announce the first-ever Covie Awards, recognizing artistic achievement (or its opposite) in some of the (mostly older) films I managed to see last year. With luck and the vaccine, the Scobies will return a year from now. And, who knows, maybe the Covies will, too.
Best Short Animated Film: "First Animation" (2020)
Best Foreign Language Film: "Un Carnet de Bal" (1937)
Best Documentary Art Film About Another Art Film: "Notfilm" (2015)
Best Documentary About a Rock-&-Roll Band: "Once Were Brothers: Robbie Robertson and The Band" (2019)
Most Authentic-Looking Reconstructions In a Documentary: "Stories We Tell" (2012)
Best Dancing: "No Maps On My Taps" (1978)
Worst Ed Wood Movie: "Nympho Cycler" (1971)
Most Boring Movie That a Lot of Critics Really Liked: "The Fearless Vampire Killers" (1967)
Best Performance By a Silent Actor In a Sound Film: Harpo Marx in "A Silent Panic" (1960)
Best Performance By an Actor In the Only Movie He Ever Made: Alex Cressan in "Tamango" (1958)
Best Performance By an Actress Wearing a Pink Bikini: Geena Davis in "Earth Girls Are Easy" (1988)
Best Performance By an Actress Wearing Only a Towel: Valerie Perrine in "Steambath" (1973)
Best Performance By an Actress Playing a Character Being Interrogated By the Cops While Smoking a Cigarette: Jean Arthur in "The Whole Town's Talking" (1935
Best Performance By a Former Child Actor Playing a Mad Scientist: Jackie Coogan in "Mesa of Lost Women" (1953)
Best Sidekick Performance: William Bendix in "A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court" (1949)
Best Mad Scene: Vincent Price in "Madhouse" (1974)
Most Fun Impersonation of a Famous Movie Star By Another Famous Movie Star: Errol Flynn imitating Humphrey Bogart in "Never Say Goodbye" (1946)
Wickedest Scene-Stealing: Clu Gulager in "The Killers" (1964)
Cringiest Performance In the Age of Black Lives Matter: Stepin Fetchit in "Steamboat Round the Bend" (1935)
Most Enjoyable Performance In a Movie That Didn't Amount To Much: Ed Wynn in "Dear Brigitte" (1965)
Most Satanic Performance In a Made-For-TV Movie: Donald Sutherland in "Quicksand: No Escape" (1992)
Best Animal Performance: John Wayne's horse in "Ride Him, Cowboy" (1932) and the raccoon in "Red Skies of Montana" (1952)
Best Performance By a Horde of Insects: The killer bees in "The Bees" (1978)
Most Depressing Animal Sequence: The bullfight in "The Assassination of Trotsky" (1972)
Most Excruciating Performance By an Actress In a Supporting Role That's Way Over the Top But Also Kind of Brilliant: Debra Blee in "The Malibu Bikini Shop" (1986)
Best Performance By an Eyeball: Jimmy Stewart's glass eye in "Fool's Parade (1971)
Best Performance By an Actor Named Imhof: Roger Imhof in "Steamboat Round the Bend" (1935)
Best Rock-&-Roll Performance: Chuck Berry in "Let the Good Times Roll" (1973)
Trippiest Rock-&-Roll Moment: Jimmy Page playing a theremin in "The Song Remains the Same" (1976)
Hottest Couple: Noémie Merlant and Adèle Haenel in "Portrait of a Lady On Fire" (2019)
Coolest Shades: Charles Bronson's tinted specs in "The White Buffalo" (1977)
Romantic Subplot Least Likely To Go Anywhere (And You Wouldn't Want It To): Pamela Sue Martin's crush on Gene Hackman in "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972)
Noir On a Shoestring: "Destination Murder" (1950)
Actor You Wouldn't Expect To See Playing a Priest Playing a Priest: Frank Sinatra in "The Miracle of the Bells" (1948)
Set Design: "Brats" (1930)
Ensemble: "The Last Full Measure" (2019)
Best Use of Location In a Movie Shot On Location: The state of Montana in "Certain Women" (2015)
Why Some French Movies Are Worth Watching Even When the Movies Are Kind of Dull and the Characters In Them Brood Too Much: Sylvie Testud in "The Captive" (2000)
Best Movie To Watch Stoned: "Curious Alice" (1971)
Up In Smoke: The Seven Gables in Seattle
Herman Scobie Memorial Award For Career Achievement: Tom Skerritt
