Our Dancing Daughters (1928)

OUR DANCING DAUGHTERS  (1928)  ¢ ¢ ¢ 1/2
    D: Harry Beaumont
    Joan Crawford, Johnny Mack Brown, 
    Dorothy Sebastian, Anita Page, Nils Aster, 
    Kathlyn Williams, Edward Nugent
In her first significant lead role, Joan Crawford plays a good-time girl who loses the man of her dreams to a gold digger who's no good at all. There's something distinctly modern about Crawford's acting that stands out in the context of a silent film. Her character's a hedonist with a heart, a combination of free-spirited sauciness and vulnerability that Crawford knew instinctively how to express, often with no more than a look. The shadowy cinematography and posh art-deco sets are eye-catching, too, but the movie belongs to the eye-catching Crawford. You can see why it made her a star.

Machete Kills (2013)

MACHETE KILLS  (2013)  ¢ ¢ ¢
    D: Robert Rodriguez
    Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez,
    Alexa Vega, Demian Bechir, Amber Heard,
    Charlie Sheen, Antonio Banderas, Sofia Vergara,
    Lady Gaga, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding Jr.
Machete's back, and Machete still don't text. Well, maybe, just a little. What Machete does mostly is glower a lot while separating people from their heads in various creative ways. (Helicopter blades are useful for this purpose. You'll see.) Danny Trejo again plays the lethal, implacable Machete. The nutball villain is Mel Gibson, looking more energized than he has in years. Michelle Rodriguez drops in again as Luz (aka "She"), a cyclopic killing machine who could just about match Machete for gut-spilling, blood-spewing expertise. The storytelling's sloppy. The violence is absurd. It's pure exploitation - mean, funny, gory and inexcusable - just what a great drive-in movie should be. It ends with a promise that Machete will kill again (in space!). Fair enough, and you can count me in. But after that, how about a vehicle showcasing Michelle Rodriguez? She's hot, she's tough, she's apparently unkillable, and she makes those form-fitting commando outfits she wears look real good. Think about it. Not even Machete can compete with that. 

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999)

SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT  
    D: Trey Parker                                         (1999)  ¢ ¢ ¢ ¢
The South Park kids sneak into an R-rated Canadian art film called "Asses of Fire" and emerge three hours later with a collective case of Tourette's syndrome. Their mothers respond by mobilizing the local PTA and persuading President Clinton to declare war on Canada. Kenny tries to light a fart on fire, suffers third-degree burns, dies on the operating table when the doctor accidentally replaces his heart with a baked potato, and goes to hell, where Satan is having a homosexual affair with Saddam Hussein. The kids organize a resistance group and stage a commando raid on a USO rally where a double execution is scheduled to take place. Let's see, what else? Bill Gates, Conan O'Brien and the Baldwin brothers all get killed. Brooke Shields makes a ditzy remark on a TV talk show and gets slapped upside the head. Brian Dennehy does an accidental cameo when he shows up for a musical number showcasing Brian Boitano. Winona Ryder entertains the USO audience by, um, doing something with ping pong balls. Nothing's sacred and no sacred cow is safe. Censorship gets slammed. The movie rating system gets blasted. Hypocrisy gets reamed. The picture even makes fun of its own animation. Imagine "Peanuts" with a script by Lenny Bruce. Only bigger. And longer. And uncut.

American Hustle (2013)

AMERICAN HUSTLE  (2013)  ¢ ¢ 1/2
    D: David O. Russell
    Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper,
    Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner, Robert De Niro
Cons conning cons in an ever-expanding con that gets way too big for any of them to handle. Featured attractions include Christian Bale's gut, Bradley Cooper's perm, Jeremy Renner's pompadour, Amy Adams' boobs (or at least some eye-catching cleavage) and Jennifer Lawrence's pout. The best thing you can say about these characters is that they deserve each other, but who's holding the final card up which sleeve won't be revealed till the last double-cross has been executed. Bale's comb-over is hideous, but as misguided fashion statements go, it's probably no worse than his leisure suits.

The Towering Inferno (1974)

THE TOWERING INFERNO  (1974)  ¢ ¢ 1/2
    D: John Guillerman, Irwin Allen
    Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, William Holden,
    Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire, Richard Chamberlain,
    Jennifer Jones, Susan Blakely, O.J. Simpson,
    Robert Vaughn, Robert Wagner, Susan Flannery
When the world's tallest building catches fire on the night of its dedication bash, it's up to a rugged, blue-eyed fire chief and a handsome, blue-eyed architect to save a roomful of well-heeled partygoers from turning into human toast. An irresistibly clunky Irwin Allen disaster epic in which flames shoot out of a model skyscraper while the leads act heroic and various supporting players either get torched or go splat on the sidewalk. Jennifer Jones plays one of the characters who doesn't make it, but at least the rescue workers manage to save her cat. It's that kind of movie.

The Great Beauty (2013)

THE GREAT BEAUTY  (2013)  ¢ ¢ ¢
    D: Paolo Sorrentino
    Toni Servillo, Sabrina Ferilli, Carlo Verdone,
    Pamela Villoresi, Aldo Ralli, Giusi Merli,
    Anita Kravos, Anna Della Rossa, Galatea Ranzi
Rome, through the eyes of a jaded socialite, a 65-year-old writer who published a widely acclaimed novel once, but has spent the last 40 years working for magazines and living the good life in the Eternal City. Jep (Toni Servillo) is mostly at peace with the choices he's made. He likes the attention he gets, and the tailored clothes, and the parties, and the beautiful people. And yet he looks bored, and he's reached a point where the passage of time can't be ignored. There's a lot of Fellini in the scattered narrative, and in the way Sorrentino skewers the decadent snobs Jep associates with. The camera follows along, gliding through the streets, under bridges, into noisy public squares and quiet spaces, pausing whenever something catches Sorrentino's eye (or Jep's), an insider's personalized tour of the city. In the end there's a sense of loss, if not regret, and a suggestion that maybe Jep will go to work on a second novel, after all. Or maybe not. The seductive powers of Rome are hard to resist, and Jep has spent the good part of a lifetime not resisting them. Old habits aren't easy to break. And there's bound to be another party tomorrow night.