8 Mile (2002)

8 MILE  (2002)  ¢ ¢ ¢ 1/2
    D: Curtis Hanson
    Eminem, Kim Basinger, Brittany Murphy,
    Mekhi Phifer, Evan Jones, Eugene Byrd,
    Anthony Mackie, Taryn Manning, Michael Shannon

Brothahs and sistahs, it's your main man Nick,
Gonna spin a little rap about this here flick. 
It's all about a white kid in Detroit City,
Got a dead-end job and his life is lookin' shitty.
He lives in a trailer park and that's no good,
So he hangs with the homies at a club in the 'hood.
He might  be a honky, but he knows the lingo.
His mother (Kim Basinger) likes to play bingo.
Now the cat's big dream is to be a star rapper.
If he can't cut that, then his future's in the crapper.
So he gets on stage where he freezes and chokes,
And the folks in the audience laugh and make jokes. 
Then he goes through all kinds of toil and trouble.
Gonna take more than ridicule to bust his bubble. 
And after watchin' lots of real bad shit pass,
He picks up the mike again and really kicks ass.
By now you've prob'ly guessed that this is Eminem's movie.
In the language of the '60s you could call it kinda groovy.
The story's pretty basic and you've seen it all before,
But this Marshall Mathers kid really nails it to the door.
He plays it low-key, a kind of hip-hop zen.
Makes you wonder what he'll do when he gets to mile ten.

In the spirit of the New Year and as a gift to the rest of the human race, the Movie Buzzard resolves not to try to write any more rap lyrics for the foreseeable future.